Dumb Criminals

There are criminals and then, there are dumb criminals. Some may be the very brightest people on the planet, yet many can do some of the dumbest things. Every well thought out plan has its ‘Wiley-Coyote’ extreme moments. If those moments are foreseen, then a very capable, intelligent criminal is at work. If the criminal falls off the end of the cliff just once, then he is still considered slightly bright. Two or more drops from the cliff and he is a dumb ass on his way to ‘acing’ the dumb test. It is likely that he will surpass the dumb laws of gravity that always ‘take that criminal down.’

Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

For instance, the dumb criminals ‘case the joint’ for more than one night. Finally, they drive around the neighborhood, park their vans several blocks from that ‘choice domain’ and start jogging in their sweats. On the night in question, a particularly stupid dumb ass nonchalantly wanders around checking out every entrance-way and looks through every window. He takes his time, knowing that really dumb ass mistakes are made when burglars hurry too much. He pictures himself as a man living around the corner that is out for his nightly stroll. He decides that this is not the night.

He has done his research and knows that burglarizing this house will be the hit that sets him up for life, or at least sets him up for a few years. He surely does not want to ‘blow’ it because he is in too big a hurry. He knows that he has to do this on a Wednesday when no one is at home. He roams the streets every Wednesday for weeks. Everything is looking good. Now all he needs to do is go down his check-list and firm-up his thinking.

Finally, the night has arrived. He leaves his van, as usual and jogs around several blocks. By now, he is certain that the neighbors think he belongs on these streets. He walks around the block once, check #1 on his list. He saunters in and out of the walkways, check#2 and glances around the bushes, check#3. He knocks on the front door, check #4. He looks up, smiling to himself. There is the camera! Oh well, he will be gone for parts unknown by the time anyone looks at the tape.

He dismantles the alarm, uses his glass-cutter and in the back door he goes. Suddenly, the lights come on, and he can hear the sirens in the distance. A man stands in the doorway with a gun aimed at him. “I watched you the entire time that you were plotting this and oh, by the way, this is not Wednesday.” “Duh?” How dumb can dumb criminals be?

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